...We are replacing you, one invention at a time. At least, you still have your good looks to fall back on, because Live Luggage is taking away your ability to impress all the single ladies on the plane with your heavy-lifting luggage skills. Now women can fit all their pairs of shoes without struggling to lug their carry-on around the airport or into the overhead bin; Live Luggage is a power-wheel bag! Now if it could only get itself to the terminal on its own, we would be set. It also has an anti-gravity handle that pulls 85% of your weight, so that you can look stylish carrying pounds of last minute gifts that you purchased at the airport. You won't even be able to tell that you added the weight! And the real kicker of Live Luggage is that both bags detach making it easier to stuff and lift your carry-on into the overhead container. No more smacking random people in the head, unless of course, you want to. Hey, I have met a lot of strange and obnoxious individuals on airplanes as I am sure you have to. I don't judge.

If you have a great invention that will make traveling less stressful, remember to seek patenting advice first. Now let's all board a plane to the Caribbean Islands pronto!

Lonnie Johnson, the original creator of the Super Soaker water gun, is making a comeback for the next generation to enjoy-- the classic Super Soaker is on the market with some redesign! With its original bright neon colors, the Super Soaker 50 holds up to 25 ounces of water and shoots up to 35 feet. Unfortunately, the new design does not allow the gunslinger to rip off the water bottle for an ambush attack like it use to. Man that was the best part! Grenade attack!

Luckily, it still has its pumping mechanism powered by your own strength; no automatic shooting like the ones used today. I remember you always knew it was summer when your right arm was a little more buff then your left. I'm ordering a few for myself and for my siblings to have the ultimate showdown on Independence Day. July 4th, be there!

Just a hint to all you newbies discovering the greatness of this invention now, you don't have to wait till summer to use a Super Soaker. Just fill it with warm water and start targeting away! And yes, this is definitely on the list, "you know you grew up in the Eighties when...Super Soakers were the highlight of your summer vacation."

ThermaHelm is a new type of motorcycle helmet, since it has a built-in cooling system to keep your brain nice and cool post-accident. The technology can save a motorcyclist life, since most motorcycle deaths occur when the brain swells after an incident and before the ambulance arrives. Basically two pockets, one filled with water, and the other filled with ammonium nitrate ignite to create a cooling effect to stop any swelling from happening.

This $490 invention will be available in the United Kingdom soon, and they are even in works to improve the design with a video camera, GPS, and Bluetooth included. Meaning, as you lie there with your brain on ice, you can replay the video to why this happened while talking to your mom. This is definitely an improvement in helmet design. In fact, it is quite amazing! The only thing that could make this more amazing would be a commercial with a watermelon staying deliciously chilled after it fell down. Did anybody else grow up with those bicycle safety videos that used watermelon, instead of childrens' heads, to show what happens when you don't wear a helmet (I'll give you the ending, it does not pan out well for the watermelon)? Such a classic!

"I am a nice shark that is being 3-D projected into your Roca Waterdrop Shower. Humans are friends, not food," says Bruce from Finding Nemo. Thanks Bruce darling for that nice introduction to today's invention, the Roca Waterdrop Shower! Now when you shower, you can watch three hour long movies on your surrounding 3-D touch screen that also allows you to control the water temperature and jets. I'm not sure how much water you can waste taking a three hour shower (I'm guessing A LOT), but I do know that you will look like a prune with eyes. At least, now you can join the Raisonettes like I know you've always wanted to!

This shower is only a concept for now-- darn it though, I was going to invite guests over for the weekend and play Psycho on the touchscreen! How entertaining would that be? Then an encore of What Lies Beneath. Also, I'm not sure how they would make the screen three-dimensional without the use of 3-D glasses, and just a little fact--Did you know African-American Kenneth J. Dunkley discovered the two periphery points on a human's eye that if obstructed create a three dimensional effect? Now you know! This discovery, of course, led to 3D glasses being created, which then led to Avatar. Thank you, Mr. Dunkley!

In case that morning coffee doesn't do the trick or that Starbuck's tall caramel mocha latte with light whip cream doesn't keep you jolted during the work day, chew on this-- Engobi's caffeine-infused potato chips! These chips packaged as "Energy Go Bites" give you an energy boost claimed to be seventy percent more effective than a small energy drink. If the amount of caffeine does not scare you, the flavors sure will--lemon and cinnamon. Imagine how serving caffeine infused potato chips will tweak your Super Bowl, Tupperware, and/or birthday parties. You could never throw a boring party again! That being said, I think I will have to get some when I finally get up the energy to watch No Country for Old Men. What a genius idea! Marketers should hand out Engobi samples outside movie theaters where they already know the movie will be slow. I guarantee better reviews or at least more entertainment as the movie-goers start convulsing in their seats. When is that new Harry Potter movie coming out?

Since it is Black History month, did you know the potato chip was invented by African-American George Crum in 1853 when a customer disliked the restaurant's thick fries? As the restaurant's chef, Crum kept thinning the potatoes and frying until the disgruntled customer liked the product--the first batch of potato chips. That sounds more delish than caffeine-infused potato chips. I have a feeling George Crum would not like this new take on his yummy invention.  

Hasbro is releasing the 75th anniversary version of Monopoly in fall 2010, with a few major changes. If I hadn't told you just right now that this was the new Monopoly board, I'm sure you would have never guessed it! Not only is the board round, the money is plastic and the bank teller is an electronic device that sings (creepy). You know what that means-- you are forced to play by the rules and no more raiding the bank when your opponent goes to the bathroom! Unless of course, you are an extraordinaire at hacking into bank accounts, which you could be. If so, you are my new best friend.

I'm not sure how I feel about this modern take on a classic game. I miss the silver game pieces (the top hat and car mostly), the physical money that you can throw up in piles to make you feel even more rich, and an actual banker that you can accuse of cheating if you are losing badly. Plus, isn't it a bad idea to teach children at such a young age how to use a credit card? Unless it says "insufficient funds" if you overdraft, then I'm all up for it. But in this case, it will probably sing you ABBA's "Money, Money, Money" song or Rolling Stone's "You Can't Always Get What You Want." I could go for that! Also, it has being updated from low prices to modern day prices; expect to pay 4 million for Boardwalk instead of $400. WHOA! On the plus side, you collect 2 million when you pass "Go." If only real life were like that, I would pass "Go" all the time (somehow that sounds wrong?).

What are your thoughts on this new Monopoly? Let me know! I'm curious.

Not for the easily offended, these big breasted mouse pads pack quite a punch at work. No more gathering around the water cooler anymore, the big breasted mouse pad provides entertainment for all. I find it actually quite funny! It has to be a joke or at least a mouse pad that you keep in the privacy of your own home, away from any sexual harassment suits that could follow. And when is the girl equivalent coming out? I can respect a nice rack, but I need a boy mouse pad with big pecs (?), or a big butt (?) or a big...I'm just going to stop right there! And we all know Sal9000 has already ordered a box of these, then again I would think it would be considered committing adultery on his anime wife with her sisters. Let's hope she doesn't get jealous too easily.

This little, I mean big, invention is getting passed around the internet like crazy! See even silly inventions can produce a rage. Send me some of your silly ideas today! 

The iPad, the new release from Apple, is a multi-touch screen that is basically a laptop computer minus the keyboard and mouse part. It is lighter than a laptop and the huge screen allows you to view websites one page at a time with finger scrolling to change the page of course. Think of it as a huge iPhone without the ability to make calls or take pictures. You can however view pictures that are "crisp and vibrant" according to the website. Also, because the screen is so large, it makes it easier to watch movies and YouTube videos, as well as read novels in the iBook application, check email,  manage your calendar, and more. I am sure they already are designing apps for the iPad, hopefully the Fart 2.0 makes the cut! I'm crossing my fingers. Plus, the design is like a Frisbee, so I'm sure you can toss it around if you feel like it; it might just come back.  

I think it will be interesting to see if people go crazy over this product like the iPod or iPhone. It looks just like the iPhone but in a much bigger form that it should be funny to see people pull them out of their bag, and others mistakenly thinking that this is the new phone must-have-- like we have reverted back to massive cell phones.

I wish!

Doggy Seat Belts allow your pet to lay, sit, and, hopefully, still stick their head out the window. Basically, it allows them to have limited mobility to keep them safe and you safe. We all know how difficult it is to drive with a dog jumping from one seat to the next, trying to get comfortable in an object that is constantly moving. This is a great invention! For little dogs, no more cramped crates and for larger dogs, no more drooling all over the newly refurbished leather seats, now it will just be in one concentrated area.

You can purchase your Pet Seat Belt at Hammacher Schlemmer, but remember to lock the seat belt in before using otherwise you will have a roaming dog with a lethal weapon (a.k.a. a ridiculously long seat belt cord and hard metal buckle to whip you in the face with).  In case of an emergency, they should include air bags into the design. Ha ha that just created a funny picture in my head of a blown up doggy, or a doggy with a puffed up jacket? Also, this invention is cat-friendly. If you have an invention to improve the life of a doggy or kitty friend, let's get your idea patented and on the market!

Ready, Set, Hike, now EAT! Norm Thompson has developed the ultimate manly man meat, a Football salami authentically laced and stitched up to feed all that testosterone at your Super bowl party! Honestly, I think your dog would like this invention more than an actual guy would. I can't imagine any guy being happy to slice up a perfectly usable football. Now they just need to come up with cheese helmets and beer goalposts to complete the package. They really should think about exchanging this football for the real one used in the Super bowl. Just imagine, how all the Saints and Colts linemen and linebackers will make sure to tackle salami, and maybe even Reggie Bush will learn to finally catch and keep the darn thing in his hands till he scores a touchdown or at least until dinner time! And you can't forget, Peyton Manning drooling over the thought of a delicious Football Salami, or maybe that is just what his face looks like? And you thought I wouldn't know football, huh? I like to surprise! Go Colts!